I thought I'd share a story while observing my daughter over the years.
Years ago, my daughter was on a team that did not have very good direction. Everyone wanted to be on top. She is a quiet, yet brilliant kid, who was getting frustrated that they were not accomplishing anything. I saw what was going on and I told my daughter, "just take charge, tell them what they should do."
She said, "I don't know mom they'll be angry with me."
I said, "just try next time."
Being a good daughter she did and that was their most successful meeting.
Today she says, when she is working on a team she waits till there is little time left, then she starts telling people what to do. "you do this, you do that and I'll do this" etc.
At the end of the project, when they get everything done, she apologizes to everyone. When she told me this I didn't feel comfortable with it. Recently, I read the above quote then I knew she shouldn't be apologizing. I suppose we have a stronger belief of people liking us then getting the work done.
So this morning, I will have a talk with my daughter and tell her not to say she is sorry but congratulate the team on a job well done because there is no reason to be sorry.
Please share your stories of your girls, I would love to read them.
Update: I did talk to her about it. I told her the quote. I asked her if the boys would apologize. She said no. She said she'll try congratulating next time.